NYPD Yellow
VICTIM: Elmo
SCENE OF CRIME: Sesame Street, NY
CAUSE OF DEATH: Preliminary Cause Only
INCIDENT REPORT: 911 call placed at 11.07pm. Dispatch reported that an effete voice, sounding distressed reported seeing a body lying in amongst trash cans. Presiding Officer Kowalski arrived at SOC (Sesame Street) at precisely 11.17pm. Noticing the disarray around the garbage receptacles, Kowalksi approached with gun drawn. In plain sight, he saw a red furry leg protruding from beneath a pile of waste. Closer inspection revealed blood splatter patterns on the stoop of the nearby brownstone. Kowalski called in CSI.
Kowalski began door to door interviews at 11.23pm. First to be questioned was Oscar T. Grouch, who seemed visibly shaken by the corpse near his home. Grouch claims he was engaged sexually with Sully all night. Alibi confirmed.
According to the drunken accounts of Bert Doe and Ernie Smith, they staggered past the trash cans at around 10.20pm, noticing nothing untoward. Both did however corroborate an account of a large, tall man with blood on his face loitering nervously by the pay phone at approximately 11.05pm.
At 11.46pm, Kowalski issued an APB on a 7 foot, naked yellow avian, with blood stained beak.
11.50pm, CSI confirms victim as Elmo, a four foot red muppet. He reports multiple stab wounds to the chest and face, defensive wounds to the wrists, with a fatal blow through the heart. Preliminary cause of death is Pecked To Death. Unidentified pulse remnants are found near the corpse, along with several yellow feathers.
At 11.59pm, Kowalski interviews 3rd and 4th eye witnesses who confirm Doe & Smith's account. Zoe, an under age street walker, and her pimp, Count The Count (presumed alias) also reported an incident earlier in which a tall yellow "john" solicited sex from Zoe, but reneged on the deal when he realised she was female. Pushing Zoe to the sidewalk, he fled up the street and was seen approaching Elmo, who was hooking on the corner. Count The Count confirmed his identity.
12.07pm - Kowalski issues amended APB calling for officers to be on the look out for Bernard Libovianni, aka Big Bird, aka Benny The Beak. Warrants exist on Libovianni for the suspected murders of Kermit T Frog, Miss F Piggy and Gonzo T Great, ritually murdered in June 2003 (case unsolved).
12.49pm - Libovianni is arrested on Lexington and 12th by NYPD Officer Ursula Poulson responding to a complaint of noise. Libovianni claimed he was attempting to "cooperate" with an under age rent boy who fled the scene.
STATUS: Suspect in custody.
SCENE OF CRIME: Sesame Street, NY
CAUSE OF DEATH: Preliminary Cause Only
INCIDENT REPORT: 911 call placed at 11.07pm. Dispatch reported that an effete voice, sounding distressed reported seeing a body lying in amongst trash cans. Presiding Officer Kowalski arrived at SOC (Sesame Street) at precisely 11.17pm. Noticing the disarray around the garbage receptacles, Kowalksi approached with gun drawn. In plain sight, he saw a red furry leg protruding from beneath a pile of waste. Closer inspection revealed blood splatter patterns on the stoop of the nearby brownstone. Kowalski called in CSI.
Kowalski began door to door interviews at 11.23pm. First to be questioned was Oscar T. Grouch, who seemed visibly shaken by the corpse near his home. Grouch claims he was engaged sexually with Sully all night. Alibi confirmed.
According to the drunken accounts of Bert Doe and Ernie Smith, they staggered past the trash cans at around 10.20pm, noticing nothing untoward. Both did however corroborate an account of a large, tall man with blood on his face loitering nervously by the pay phone at approximately 11.05pm.
At 11.46pm, Kowalski issued an APB on a 7 foot, naked yellow avian, with blood stained beak.
11.50pm, CSI confirms victim as Elmo, a four foot red muppet. He reports multiple stab wounds to the chest and face, defensive wounds to the wrists, with a fatal blow through the heart. Preliminary cause of death is Pecked To Death. Unidentified pulse remnants are found near the corpse, along with several yellow feathers.
At 11.59pm, Kowalski interviews 3rd and 4th eye witnesses who confirm Doe & Smith's account. Zoe, an under age street walker, and her pimp, Count The Count (presumed alias) also reported an incident earlier in which a tall yellow "john" solicited sex from Zoe, but reneged on the deal when he realised she was female. Pushing Zoe to the sidewalk, he fled up the street and was seen approaching Elmo, who was hooking on the corner. Count The Count confirmed his identity.
12.07pm - Kowalski issues amended APB calling for officers to be on the look out for Bernard Libovianni, aka Big Bird, aka Benny The Beak. Warrants exist on Libovianni for the suspected murders of Kermit T Frog, Miss F Piggy and Gonzo T Great, ritually murdered in June 2003 (case unsolved).
12.49pm - Libovianni is arrested on Lexington and 12th by NYPD Officer Ursula Poulson responding to a complaint of noise. Libovianni claimed he was attempting to "cooperate" with an under age rent boy who fled the scene.
STATUS: Suspect in custody.
posted by Sundays Supplement | 12:17 PM
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